I am in the uncomfortable situation of being 30 weeks pregnant...The fourth time.
The only upside is that I am due about the same time as 5, no 6?, 7? of my friends, and my sister just had a baby. So I'm in excellent company as far as the weight gain goes. What? Who am I kidding? All of these wonderful gals are on their 1st or 2nd babies, so the weight gain winner will no doubt be moi. Which reminds me, does anyone have any pretty floral cotton oompa loompa-type dresses they want to get rid of? I'm approaching mega-huge belly status already and am literally down to a pair of brown bermuda cotton goodwill shorts (so stylish), a skirt, two dresses, and my husband's very stretched out old boxers (you know the ones that the elastic is already shot). I just pray nobody sees me walking around my house at night while walking their dogs.
I always wanted a bunch of kids when I was little. Maybe growing up in a family of 5 kids had its influence...I liked eating at a full rowdy dinner table. I liked being crammed in the van on trips. I even love it now when we all get together, with all our spouses and kids. It's fun and loud and full of life. And I do love my kids, I do. But you know what I hate? Loathe? You'll probably never guess, so I'll tell you.
This whole pregnancy thing. I love the movie "What to expect when you're expecting" when the one woman who's asked to speak at a baby convention says, " I'm calling it. Bulls**t! Pregnancy sucks!" Well, I'm at that point. I know some have it way harder, and some have it easier, and some have the glow, and some want to punch anyone that comes within 10 feet. I think now with my fourth I've gone steadily downhill from the glowing phase with Luke and Evan, to the downright 'ugh' phase with this little guy. I love him, I do, I just don't like
making him. I want him out of my body!!!
I have been developing a phobia with this pregnancy of being seen, or stared at (super annoying), commented to, the works.With my first and even second pregnancies I thought it was funny, cute, flattering, whatever, but now it just plain ticks me off. At times I've really, literally just bit my tongue...
"You look SOOO tired." So encouraging (and that time I HAD showered and put on make-up!)
"You look like you're about to burst"...thanks I have 12 weeks to go..."Really? Wow, your belly is HUGE already!"
"Got twins in there?" Shut up. Really, I've had it.
What's particularly peeving is the whole attitude change I see when people see me with my other three kids and then they have this look of pity/dismay/shock. It's just four, people, not 18!! Like my sweet babysitter said..."It's not like you're having your eighth!" Believe me, if I was having my eighth I'd go get a belly harness thingy to hold everything together, and go into confinement by week 12.
It is HARD growing a baby, and taking care of three kids, and not to
mention having your house on the market. It's more tiring, more taxing,
more overwhelming than I could ever have imagined. And I feel like Miss Super Wuss more than ever saying that when I think of my mother or grandmother or countless women I know that have had 5, 6, 7, 8, or 11 children.
So to all my friends out there who are in the same boat, cheers. It is so encouraging to know I'm not alone in summertime baby making status and all the grand non-lovely side effects it produces, like:
1. Crying. And I mean a lot of crying. I've cried more this pregnancy than my whole life combined (you think I'm kidding, but I'm not). At
anything and everything. Mostly the "I'm so overwhelmed please help me God" crying, but even Sunday in church I could hardly control
myself because the man sitting in front of me had the same build as my
brother with the same kind of hat my brother wears and I just started
crying and missing him. I cry watching kids movies. I cry reading books to them. I also cry almost every other night before I go to bed. So if I look tired, it's probably because my
crying days vs. non-crying days are almost balancing at equal
quantities. And I don't get in enough showers. And I don't have time to put on make-up...or if I do I end up stabbing my eye with the mascara wand, which is not fun. And mascara doesn't work with crying anyways...
2. Zits galore. Skin tags popping up all over the place. Gross.
3. Horrible smelling odors emitting from the nether-regions at random times? Your kids asking "what smells?" You're not alone. I'm convinced it's the prenatal vitamins, but that's just me. I just tell Luke "the baby has gas" like in the movie.
4. Walking up a flight of steps makes you an out of breath panter? You're not alone.
5. Near panic sets in when you run out of your favorite midnight and 4 am snacks? STOCK UP next time you get out of the house =: )
6. Relieved when your husband falls asleep on the couch so you can have the bed and 7 pillows all to yourself? Ahh...love it when that happens. I think a pregnant woman invented the king size bed.
7. Back pain...the sciatic nerve kind. The kind that makes you move like you're 97.
8. Swelling everything. For goodness sakes my armpits are inflamed already. My armpits!! What gives??
In an effort to think upon lovely things more so than the negative ones staring me in the face every second, I'm trying to fill up my calendar with happy things to look forward to each and every week. Like date nights. Weekly trips to my parents (mainly their pool). Another pedicure and a haircut next month. A mini family vacation. An anniversary date. A few playdates. And starting next week the boys can go to our community playground program 4 days a week for a few hours, so that will give me a much needed breather to spend some quality time with Kelly, or go shopping for clothes that fit, or visit with friend. I'm really looking forward to that.
So through this whole endeavor I'm trying to sincerely "Keep my eyes fixed on the goal." A baby. A new member of the family. This will all be worth it! This baby IS PRECIOUS TO GOD. HE WANTS THIS BOY ON EARTH FOR A PURPOSE. HE WANTS ME, LITTLE WEAK FREAKED OUT ME, TO BE HIS MOTHER. And he will help me. He has promised to help me. How comforting.
Well that's all I got for now. This tired momma is off to bed. Peace out...
