On bathroom reading and kitchen worship

It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that this world is a fallen place.

It's so terribly easy to get lost in our world, overwhelmed in our homes, and blah or ARGH! in our hearts.

For a woman like me who is home ALL the time, with so many little mundane tasks that tower over her like a terrible monstrous beast, it can be so easy to lose sight of, well, pretty much everything.
Some days all I can see is the immediate tasks in front of me, my unwelcome friends fatigue and frustration just don't leave, and the never-ending whining to accompany the daily humdrum (by my children or myself) can really make for a life that no one would envy.

So in an effort to help raise my eyes towards the hills from whence cometh my help, I've tried several things this past/current year...but some of them have been fails. I did try going to a Moms in Prayer group. Like one time (yeah, one year olds and quiet prayer don't really mix!). I also tried keeping up with an online Bible study. Also didn't go very well... Apparently I can't read at night for more than seven minutes without falling asleep. And then there's going to church. Having children take turns getting sick for three months in a row really puts a hamper on one's attendance.

Ok so all that said I've realized setting aside a whole hour or morning or trying to read anything before bed is really not working this season of life. So in an effort to lower my expectations, and yet still get my daily Bread throughout the day, this year I'm going to focus on getting God snacks wherever the opportunity arises.

These opportunities, I believe, have to come during the times to myself that I DO get, not on times to myself that I WISH I got. So let me think:

Ah yes, showering. So there's two or three times a week (you smile, but tis true!) that I get to sing some hymns whilst the little ones are taught to share from Daniel Tiger.

Driving: whether it be taking the kids to school, or driving half hour to my parents, my cd player is full of Seeds Family Worship (Faith and Encouragement are my favorites right now), Shane and Shane, and Mozart piano concertos.

And kitchen duties must be done everyday, so there's a daily amount of time that could be transformed into a prayer time (if kids are napping), and if the kids are all invading my personal space I can at least listen to some worship music and sing along (in between teaching, rebuking, correcting, and the like!). Beats the way I often do dishes, that's for sure. And while I'm in the kitchen paragraph, I'd like to add this quote I just heard in church this Sunday...and from a man born 400 years ago who worked in the kitchen at his monastery for most of his life! I just cannot stop thinking about these words:

"The time of business does not with me differ from the time of prayer; and in the noise and clutter of my kitchen, while several persons are at the same time calling for different things, I possess GOD in as great tranquility as if I were upon my knees at the Blessed Sacrament."  Brother Lawrence

I'm thinking I need to read some more of this man (The Practice of the Presence of God, here I come)! And speaking of books, I've been discovering that bathroom reading can be a gold mine...that's several times EVERY day that I can devote to upward thinking. In those few moments a day I get (generally) to myself, I often grab something to read for 27 seconds that will inspire and uplift in a jiffy. I used to have cooking magazines in there, but even those stressed me out because nothing in cooking magazines these days are TRULY quick and easy (I just don't think any of those Food Network chefs have four kids and no Whole Foods)...so now I have a few devotionals and such, and among them is a home made collection of quotes that my dear mother has gathered over the years, and though I've read through that book off and on for years, this particular quote from Joy and Strength hit me as brand new two weeks ago when I read it. I keep rereading it, trying to let its truth shine light over my day, or at least the next hour.
Read it slowly. It packs a punch...

"There is no other way in which one's life will be so surely, so quickly transfigured, as in the faithful, happy, cheerful doing of everyday tasks. We need to remember that this world is not so much a place for doing things as for making character. Right in the midst of what some people call drudgery is the very place to get the transformed, transfigured life. The doing of common tasks patiently, promptly, faithfully, cheerfully, makes the character beautiful and bright. But we must take heed always that we do our tasks, whatever they are, with love in our heart. Doing any kind of work unwillingly, with complaint and murmuring, hurts the life." J.R. Miller

It's like that verse in Colossians 3, "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men." When I was younger, I took that verse to mean doing your best at piano, swimming, school work, etc. Big things, fun things, things I enjoyed. But now, man oh man! These words are so convicting!! In my heart of hearts I want to live an EXCITING life, I want to DO exciting things, like perhaps being a famous musician, a celebrity chef,  travel to far off lands, or be a heroine who rides a beautiful horse with flowing non-oily hair.

But I wipe butts. And snotty faces. And try to clean a house that is 100% determined to create and multiply dirt as fast as it can. And my back hurts from bending over and picking up, picking up, picking up.
And with no degree in such things, I'm in charge of training complaining, impatient, selfish small human beings to grow up to be grateful, kind, generous older human beings. And while I do see, occasionally, bits of progress that give me specks of hope, life is decidedly not very glamorous. And it is so very, well, daily. Common.


A few Sundays ago, being in quite a stew (which happens a lot on Sundays because I still think in my fairytale brain that I should have a weekend or a day of rest, perhaps you can relate?), I was getting in the van to go pick up food for dinner when what do I see but a HUGE full rainbow. Have you ever noticed how hard it is to stay in a stew when you see a full rainbow?! God loves reminding us that HE is there. At that moment I thought of Noah, as he lived in a world literally drowning in sin, when all around him was dark, and no one cared two jots about righteousness, he remained determined that as for him and his household, he would serve the Lord. For another 100 years! Talk about daily life feeling like it never ends! And God saved him. And not only did He save him and his family, he gave him a beautiful sign when the whole ordeal was over...a breathtaking reminder that He is still holding the whole world in his hands.

And if he can hold the whole world in his hands, he can certainly take care of my home. And he can keep my heart in perfect peace.

Be very careful, then, how you live,

Not as unwise but as wise,

making the most of every opportunity,

because the days are evil.

Ephesians 5:15-16.


Set you mind of things above, not on earthly things. 
Col. 3:2

These commandments I give to you are to be upon your hearts. 

Write them on the doorframe of your home.

Talk about them when you sit at home, when you walk along the way,

when you lie down, and when you get up.

Deuteronomy 6:5-7


Whatever you do, whether in word or in deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, giving thanks to God the Father through him. 
Col. 3:17

Peace be the journey!

P.S. yes I confess that's from Cool Runnings ; )

Language Arts

My college experience was excellent in many ways, but, like most higher level institutions I assume, did not prepare me very well for this 'get thrown in the water and try not to drown' season of life called Parenting Young Children.

It's ok. You can laugh. Or cry. Or just send me your 19 year old daughter to have for the next few years. THAT would be awesome!

So as I was saying, oh yeah, college. I had a great experience, and learned many things. I was very well trained in piano. I know how to play that big hunk of wooden hammers and steel strings. And I know how to sight-sing in solfege. And I know how to analyze contrapuntal music (well, that might be a little rusty). I could conduct a choir if I had to. And as far as the Liberal Arts went, I loved those classes too (except World History, but we're not going there). I particularly loved my French class. Not only did I take two semesters of that, I had the privilege of having a German friend, Japanese friend, and Mandarin speaking friend who taught me a few words here and there. I also went on a missions trip to Romania after my freshman year, and still remember how to say "how much does it cost" and "thank you" and "good day." Recently, thanks to Highlights magazines, I now know about 27 words in Spanish. I love learning about other cultures and languages. Always have.

But nothing, and I mean NOTHING, has prepared me for the lovely year of learning Toddlerian. (or Toddlish/ Toddlegian/Toddlen? Take your pick!)

It. Is. Hard. 

I've had this course two times already, and I don't remember much about them to be honest. But this third course, Kelly 202, is um, well, let's just say I'm getting by with a C. But hey, as my husband has taught me, "C is for cookie!"

She might look like a little American girl, but she does not sound like one. At least not yet. So on top of all the other things there are to do, being interrupted about 85 times a day by a dialect so foreign to my ears does not go over well. Sometimes I just laugh. Sometimes I very firmly say "I have NO IDEA what you're saying." Neither helps of course. My little girl MUST be understood, and if she is not, will repeat over and over and over and over again her grunts and alien sounding syllables until she is affirmed (meaning I have to figure out what the heck she's saying, say it, and wait for her very German sounding "Yah!"). If I fail to say what she means, tears and crying and the like follow...or what's really funny is when she repeats herself slowly and loudly!

~Mommy, babee oh ah-ah = baby rolled over

~Mih-mow hah puhpuh deh ah = Minnie mouse have purple dress on

~Eh-eh puh mee... Crying and Evan saying he did not push her helped me decipher that one, plus I know Evan is 'eh-eh'

~Pih-eh hoe oh-uh! = princess show is over! (amidst tears...that one was really hard the first couple times)

~Mee hake bah too = me take a bath too!

~May pee-hah pee-buh booh = May I please have peanut butter spoon (which she requests about 10 times a day on average)


There are some times I feel like I'm in a foreign country, having to take into account context and surroundings, and hand signals and body language to figure it out. 

Have you ever been in a choir and the conductor asked you to sing just on the vowels? That's what she reminds me of. Except she unfortunately does not use any familiar melodies. But when she does, it's pretty cute I must say: "Jesus loves me this I know" sounds like "E-uh uh me ih I no."

It's not always difficult to figure out what she's saying, thank goodness:

~Daddy ho! (when he walks in the door)
~Nee huh ah kih (hug and kiss before bedtime, with gestures to aid me =; )
~Hat-ee hat-ee ho (what does the fox say?)
~Baby happy! (anytime Eric is smiling, which is a lot)
~Me ee pih-eh book! (She is a true girly girl and loves all princess stories)
~Pee hah mo milk! (Yes you may)



Sweet little story to wrap this up: the other night I was sitting at the piano playing a worship song, where the chorus goes "Jesus, his name is Jesus, etc." and she sits next to me on the bench and starts singing "Ee-suh, ee-suh," in the same rhythm. That time I knew for sure what she was saying, and it Warmed. My. Heart!

"Out of the mouth of babies and children you have established strength." Psalm 8:2

Even if I don't know what she's saying all the time, it's nice to know Someone does. And He has a purpose for her life and is keeping her heart beating and her brain growing every day for His good pleasure.

I love you Kelly Grace. "I uh yoo, mommy!"

Bunkbed awesomeness

 My husband is awesome. And handy. And handsome too. And he loves to give good gifts to his children, or in this case make good gifts for his children.This is the completed Christmas gift (yes, he bought all the wood last Dec. 13th, but these projects always take a teeny bit longer than expected ; )
The instructions said it would take two people about 20 hours.
The only thing I have to say about that is: HA!
I have to admit I was not a very supportive/helpful wife during most of this project (as I was pregnant for 99% of it, and it was the worst winter ever) but I did help for a few minutes here and there, and I did trace the shamrocks onto the wood banisters (his idea...which I must say totally turned out cooler than cool)!

 Wow!

 Story time in the 'cave,' i.e, bottom bunk...

 "Cheese"

The side steps to get up to the top have built in cubbies too! And he also installed little lanterns/reading lights on the inside with a timer that is synced to his phone, so they can read books in there before bed =: )

I for one am impressed! And the boys like it too!

Baby love...

So we've got ourselves another little boy...

Eric Paul O'Connell

9 pounds 7.5 ounces

22 inches

8-18-14 7:26 pm

 

Thanking God for:

His perfect timing: my sister and her family were able to come out from Seattle for a visit, but if I had been a week late they wouldn't have been here...also one of my brothers was in town just for three days, so he got to see a fresh nephew too! I've never had any of my siblings around for a birth so that was very special!!

 

 An uncomplicated labor- though a little too long for my taste! Was able to have my mom and sister around for the last few hours Monday morning before we went to the hospital, so that was a helpful distraction.

Also thankful for epidurals- after three totally natural childbirths, I decided to try one out. 

Amazing. Simply amazing! Nothing like sleeping and smiling through the last 4 hours of labor, only aware of contractions from the computer screen!! (Why didn't I have one before now?!?) I think that made is easier on Ed too because he didn't have to watch me go through the most agonizing part of labor again. So he was smiling too =: )

Adoring older siblings...Kelly was/ is enamored! In fact she cried if someone else held her! So Greg had to hold Eric AND Kelly =: )

 Thankful for adoring aunts and uncles: Greg and Rachel had my nephew Francis at the same hospital 16 years ago...how time flies!

 It was a party! Kelly and Evan are watching as Eric gets cleaned up and weighed...

She's always nearby ready to give a kiss or a pet...whether he's crying or not, she doesn't care =: )

"Children are a heritage from the LORD, offspring a reward from Him." Psalm 127:3

Praising God from whom all blessings flow. He is Good.

Oompa Loompa doo ba dee doo

I am in the uncomfortable situation of being 30 weeks pregnant...The fourth time.

The only upside is that I am due about the same time as 5, no 6?, 7? of my friends, and my sister just had a baby. So I'm in excellent company as far as the weight gain goes. What? Who am I kidding? All of these wonderful gals are on their 1st or 2nd babies, so the weight gain winner will no doubt be moi. Which reminds me, does anyone have any pretty floral cotton oompa loompa-type dresses they want to get rid of? I'm approaching mega-huge belly status already and am literally down to a pair of brown bermuda cotton goodwill shorts (so stylish), a skirt, two dresses, and my husband's very stretched out old boxers (you know the ones that the elastic is already shot). I just pray nobody sees me walking around my house at night while walking their dogs.

I always wanted a bunch of kids when I was little. Maybe growing up in a family of 5 kids had its influence...I liked eating at a full rowdy dinner table. I liked being crammed in the van on trips. I even love it now when we all get together, with all our spouses and kids. It's fun and loud and full of life. And I do love my kids, I do. But you know what I hate? Loathe? You'll probably never guess, so I'll tell you.

This whole pregnancy thing. I love the movie "What to expect when you're expecting" when the one woman who's asked to speak at a baby convention says, " I'm calling it. Bulls**t! Pregnancy sucks!" Well, I'm at that point. I know some have it way harder, and some have it easier, and some have the glow, and some want to punch anyone that comes within 10 feet. I think now with my fourth I've gone steadily downhill from the glowing phase with Luke and Evan, to the downright 'ugh' phase with this little guy. I love him, I do, I just don't like making him. I want him out of my body!!!

 I have been developing a phobia with this pregnancy of being seen, or stared at (super annoying), commented to, the works.With my first and even second pregnancies I thought it was funny, cute, flattering, whatever, but now it just plain ticks me off. At times I've really, literally just bit my tongue...
"You look SOOO tired." So encouraging (and that time I HAD showered and put on make-up!)
"You look like you're about to burst"...thanks I have 12 weeks to go..."Really? Wow, your belly is HUGE already!"
 "Got twins in there?" Shut up. Really, I've had it.

What's particularly peeving is the whole attitude change I see when people see me with my other three kids and then they have this look of pity/dismay/shock. It's just four,  people, not 18!! Like my sweet babysitter said..."It's not like you're having your eighth!" Believe me, if I was having my eighth I'd go get a belly harness thingy to hold everything together, and go into confinement by week 12.

It is HARD growing a baby, and taking care of three kids, and not to mention having your house on the market. It's more tiring, more taxing, more overwhelming than I could ever have imagined. And I feel like Miss Super Wuss more than ever saying that when I think of my mother or grandmother or countless women I know that have had 5, 6, 7, 8,  or 11 children.

So to all my friends out there who are in the same boat, cheers. It is so encouraging to know I'm not alone in summertime baby making status and all the grand non-lovely side effects it produces, like:

1. Crying. And I mean a lot of crying. I've cried more this pregnancy than my whole life combined (you think I'm kidding, but I'm not). At anything and everything. Mostly the "I'm so overwhelmed please help me God" crying, but even Sunday in church I could hardly control myself because the man sitting in front of me had the same build as my brother with the same kind of hat my brother wears and I just started crying and missing him. I cry watching kids movies. I cry reading books to them. I also cry almost every other night before I go to bed. So if I look tired, it's probably because my crying days vs. non-crying days are almost balancing at equal quantities. And I don't get in enough showers. And I don't have time to put on make-up...or if I do I end up stabbing my eye with the mascara wand, which is not fun. And mascara doesn't work with crying anyways...

2. Zits galore. Skin tags popping up all over the place. Gross.

3. Horrible smelling odors emitting from the nether-regions at random times? Your kids asking "what smells?" You're not alone. I'm convinced it's the prenatal vitamins, but that's just me. I just tell Luke "the baby has gas" like in the movie.

4. Walking up a flight of steps makes you an out of breath panter? You're not alone.

5. Near panic sets in when you run out of your favorite midnight and 4 am snacks? STOCK UP next time you get out of the house =: )

6. Relieved when your husband falls asleep on the couch so you can have the bed and 7 pillows all to yourself? Ahh...love it when that happens. I think a pregnant woman invented the king size bed.

7. Back pain...the sciatic nerve kind. The kind that makes you move like you're 97.

8. Swelling everything. For goodness sakes my armpits are inflamed already. My armpits!! What gives??

In an effort to think upon lovely things more so than the negative ones staring me in the face every second, I'm trying to fill up my calendar with happy things to look forward to each and every week. Like date nights. Weekly trips to my parents (mainly their pool). Another pedicure and a haircut next month. A mini family vacation. An anniversary date. A few playdates. And starting next week the boys can go to our community playground program 4 days a week for a few hours, so that will give me a much needed breather to spend some quality time with Kelly, or go shopping for clothes that fit, or visit with friend. I'm really looking forward to that.

So through this whole endeavor I'm trying to sincerely "Keep my eyes fixed on the goal." A baby. A new member of the family. This will all be worth it! This baby IS PRECIOUS TO GOD. HE WANTS THIS BOY ON EARTH FOR A PURPOSE. HE WANTS ME, LITTLE WEAK FREAKED OUT ME, TO BE HIS MOTHER. And he will help me. He has promised to help me. How comforting.


Well that's all I got for now. This tired momma is off to bed. Peace out...

Fried...

We have had quite the winter, eh? And now that it's finally broken we're busier than ever getting our house ready to sell!!!...cleaning, weeding out junk, donating unwanted randomness, and fixing little things that should have been fixed 5 years ago. Fun stuff (with a 'gag me' face inserted here)!
On top of being 20 weeks pregnant and four of the five of us taking our turn with the stomach bug flu thing going around, that has left me, well, pretty much wiped out. Drained. Fried ( sorry for the bad pun)...

So fried I haven't gone to the store or had a meal plan in forever. So fried we had pancakes for dinner on Sunday, and cereal for dinner last week sometime. My freezer has never been so bare, but that's a good feeling in a way. I found a few russets left in the fridge drawer and some frozen chicken legs and thighs dated from last year, so today, while the kids played on the porch with the open door and a cool breeze coming in, I fried food for an hour. Threw in an onion's worth of rings just for me, too. Evan loves fried chicken, and ate two legs (he's back to health after his sick bout and eating again!) but Luke apparently was not pleased that my version did not taste just like Chick-fil-a, and had bones. Sorry kid!

Kelly had no complaints. Pretty much anything that you can dip in ketchup makes this little chica quite happy. When the fries are all done she dips her finger in too.

Homemade fries are quite something! What they are NOT is fast =; ) But it was nice to slow down and enjoy the sounds of kids on the porch (thank you God for springtime!!), Kelly playing/eating happily while I fried stuff (both of which are not normal around here), and just being thankful of how good such simple food and some decent weather can be.

Cheers to all~ April is here!

Thankful...

This morning started off pretty low. Like one of those with a stuffy head and too many kids (where did they all come from!) and tiredness (or is it chronic fatigue?) and depressiony thoughts and yelling over the stupidest things. My poor hubby and kids that get to live with me =: )
I was unraveling fast. But you know what? I tend to do that when my focus isn't in the right Place. So after a desperate and childlike "Please help me God" (which is like, oh, the bazillionth time I've prayed that), I decided to have the boys tell me what they were thankful for as we unloaded the dishes. That helped. A lot. Listening to a 3 year old tell you he's thankful Jesus made him is pretty special, even for a grinch like me. Listening to the 5 year old say he's thankful for pretty much every aunt and uncle he could name at a moment's notice is quite something too.
Then as I started thinking about my family, how wonderful they are, my in-law family and how wonderful they are, that depression didn't have a chance. Listening simultaneously to Shane and Shane sing "Revive me! Revive me, not for me, but for your Name...in your mercy deliver me!" helped too, as you can imagine. In that moment God saved me from myself. My selfish-ness really gets in the way of Joy. My family, my children, my friends, my husband, these are gifts God gave me, that I did not earn. I cannot credit myself for any of that wonderfulness. Reminder to myself: He must increase, I must decrease = One Happy Lady. Workin' on it!
It's a daily struggle...scratch that. It's an HOURLY struggle sometimes. But it's one that we can win when we turn our eyes upon Jesus, and look full in his wonderful face! How easily, how quickly I trade in that reality for this temporary one that pretty much stinks anytime I put myself in charge.

So from the morning to the evening my day took a 180 degree turn. That's what God does. He turns us around and gets us back on the Path. He's pretty good at that. And I for one am so very grateful for his graciousness that never ceases.

So here's a little of what I can be thankful for today:

~Children that laughed and played together for almost two hours without fighting! (A little miracle around here!)
~A handsome partner-for-life...even when he's stressed or messy or we're arguing I'd still rather look at him than anyone else in the world (even Hugh Grant).
~Being able to spend time reading my brother's novel...I love having more then three minutes to sit down and indulge!
~For a peaceful and quiet evening all to myself! At least for an hour til the rest of them come back. There was a time when spending any part of a holiday evening alone with the sleeping baby would've depressed me, but I'm in my glory tonight! (I even got to go to the bathroom undisturbed!)
~Oh, and MY SISTER'S HAVING A BABY!! Boy did that make my night/ week/ year!!!

God is good.


Hey can we have more than one Thanksgiving a year? Maybe like 6, or 52?

Effective service

Came across an old card from my mom dated 2008 stuffed in amongst the randomness that is my nightstand, and this was one of the poems on it. I've been meaning to share this for over a year now, and especially now, in this season of life, it seems ever and ever more pertinent.

I remember being homesick in college. Now I am 'home-stuck'. I cannot easily help others. I cannot easily phone-a-friend. I cannot easily give of my time, my talents. When I do, it seems everything unravels. This rather depresses me at times. Ah the side effects of motherhood!

And my problem is that when I hear of others burdens and struggles I too often first take it upon myself that I need to help them. I need to say the perfect words to encourage or change them. I need to find time to fix 'it'. How silly! This only adds to my stress level.

When I think of Jesus the night before he died, it's recorded in John that he prayed not only for himself, BUT THEN he prays for his friends, and future believers. Just think, here's a man who knows he's going to suffer more than any human being has ever suffered (starting THAT VERY night!), and he takes time to pray for OTHERS. For you. For me. How self-less is true LOVE.

This is very humbling to me.

So be encouraged, as I am, by this poem. Take to heart that God can do anything, and that our prayers matter to him. In the middle of the night rocking your nightmare-awakened toddler, sitting on the loo, washing dishes, stuck in traffic ( you know, all the times you're supposed to be doing those Kegel exercises) we can be doing a SERVICE to our husband, our kids, our families, our friends and neighbors by praying for them.  Whatever the situation may be, it can always be bettered through prayer. And the side effects are peace and joy! How 'bout that! Now if I can just get that into my brain!

Perhaps we do not think enough what an effective service prayer is, especially intercessory prayer (fancy word for praying for others). We do not believe as we should how it might 
help those we so fain would serve, 
penetrating the hearts we cannot open,
shielding those we cannot guard,
teaching where we cannot speak,
comforting where our words have no power to soothe;
following the steps of our beloved through the toils and perplexities of the day,
lifting off their burdens with an unseen hand at night.
No ministry is so like that of an angel as this- silent, invisible, known but to God.
~ Elizabeth Rundle Charles

What a Friend we have in Jesus, all our sins and griefs to bear!
What a privilege to carry everything to God in prayer!
O what peace we often forfeit, O what needless pain we bear,
All because we do not carry everything to God in prayer.
`Joseph M. Scriven

First day of preschool! Who's excited?!

Uh, hmm. Let's try again...SMILE guys- y'all are going to preschool!!! (Hallelujah! shouts my internal trumpeteer!)

Last Monday, at my wit's end for literally the 897th time, I called the preschool across the street as a prayer that somehow it would work out this year to send one or two of these lovely little angels away from me for a few hours a day. 'Yes' we can take them next month. 'Yes' just this year we started a 3 year afternoon class so they could both come in the afternoon! 'Yes' we work with potty-trainees. 'Yes' we'd love to have them. Hung up the phone singing praises!! One week later:
Their 'pack-packs' filled with lunch and to-be projects, off we went today, across the street, up some stairs to what some call preschool, and others, like me, just call scheduled babysitting (but almost 5 year olds wouldn't like that term so we'll just stick to the preschool thing). And the timing is perfect for Kelly to take her naps while they're gone, and mommy has some FREEDOOOOOOOM! Freedom to do chores in peace, freedom to accomplish some fun projects, freedom to.....oh wait, sorry, I lost my train of thought. It's so quiet in here I lost my focus.

Well off to do some attic work...but is it really work if no one's screaming or pooping or making a huge mess??? Is it?

There might be a chance for my sanity to come back after all...TTFN!

The woes of clothes...

Ugh. I must admit that I detest the changing of weather patterns more and more the more children I have. For one reason...the changing of the garb! Sorting through old 2T and finding what 3T stuff fits, figuring out what I need for my 5T boy and packing away all the 4T clothes to wait in dusty patience for one or two years, and then there's the girlie who's in between 12-18 months cloths for fall...not to mention changing out the wardrobes for myself (nightmarish task, as any mom who's changed sizes every season for the last 4 years can attest to) and the hubby (who without me would be wearing who-knows-what! haha!)...I'm going to UGH again! Don't get me wrong, I LOVE looking nice and I love it when my kids have nice outfits on and look all cutesie. But sometimes all the work that goes into clothes makes me wish Adam and Eve didn't sin. I bet if the serpent had whispered to Eve, "Oh by the way, if you eat this fruit you'll have to work hard to make clothes and sew them yourself and change them out every season and make clothes for all your kids and change them out every season," she might have reconsidered!

Clothes was a simple subject when I was a kid. Basically in the summer I wore a swimsuit, a towel, and if I had to wear clothes, all of them fit into one small hamper (and I mean ALL of them). I owned the same one coat for 7 years. I wore one dress from age 5-10 to church (and have pictures to prove it!).  I mean my mom was really on to something! Then when I got to college and actually had to think about looking nice some of the time, I accumulated enough for 3 loads of laundry every two weeks. And even that was too much for me.

And now look at me! This week is going to be sorting, more sorting, pitching, labeling in totes, and listing potential new items I need so my family can be deemed 'appropriately dressed.' And I do this two or three times a year at the rate my kids are growing. Really, I think Laura Ingalls' life is looking more angelic to me the older I get. I remember her describing the ONE dress they had for winter, how they made it last for years by letting out the hem, changing its look by a ribbon here or some lace there, and how she had TWO dresses for summer (a work dress and a play dress). And some undergarments. And a few socks that I'm sure were worn, darned, worn, and then darned again. They had one day a week devoted to laundry...although the fact that it took one whole day to hand-wash, air-dry, and hand- iron 10 items would also dishearten me. But seriously, the amount of clothes we Americans have, the amount of time we spend looking for them, the amount of money we spend purchasing them, the frustration we have cleaning and mending them, it's really overwhelming to me!

In the midst of my woes today an old poem came to mind that I just had to look up in an old English journal I kept from high school, and I believe this old Isaac Watts guy was onto something:

Against Pride in Clothes

Why should garments made to hide
Our parents' shame, provoke our pride?
The art of dress did ne'er begin
Till Eve, our mother, learned to sin.
When first she put the covering on,
Her robe of innocence was gone;
And yet her children vainly boast
In the sad marks of glory lost.

How proud we are, how fond to show
Our clothes, and call them rich and new;
When the poor sheep and silkworm wore
That very clothing long before:
The tulip and the butterfly
Appear in gayer coats than I;
Let me be dressed fine as I will,
Flies, worms, and flow'rs exceed me still.

Then will I set my heart to find
Inward adornings of the mind
Knowledge and virtue, truth and grace,
These are the robes of richest dress.
No more shall worms with me compare,
This is the raiment angels wear;
The Son of God, when here below,
Put on this blessed apparel, too.

It never fades, it never grows old,
Nor fears the rain, nor moth, nor mold;
It takes no spot, but still refines,
The more 'tis worn, the more it shines/
In this on earth would I appear,
Then go to heaven and wear it there;
God will approve it in his sight,
'Tis his own work and his delight.

That being said, autumn is my second favorite season and I adore walking outside with my kids in our sweatshirts and hoodies...thankful that He has provided for our simple temporal needs as well as our eternal ones~

Pay Day

Last Saturday was a particularly exciting day around here. Sniffles, coughing and hacking from all except the handsomest member of the family did not deter us from the designated purpose of the day: Pay day!

Instituted a VERY long time ago in child time (about three or four months ago), chore charting for Luke took on a special purpose when he had a goal in mind: A play-doh ice cream thing he saw on some random youtube video that Ed was showing him on his phone (yes they have youtube how-tos on pretty much every play-doh toy there is!).

A month or so ago he wanted to know if he FINALLY had enough money, so we counted out all his quarters- $12.50. Two weeks ago he had $17. Last week he had $20ish, but Ed showed him that he had to take out for tithe and savings, and that the toy he wanted was $21 PLUS tax. Not discouraged, he knew he had to do 8 more chores last week to be able to afford said excitement. Well nothing like a play-doh toy reward to get a young lad to do his chores with a happy heart!

Plus, mommy kind of likes playing with this one too (unlike our gravel maker)!

Bon appetite!

BLT of memories

You know how memories often have layers in them? You think of one thing and it is immediately joined by several other related memories...Like a delicious sandwich! (Ok, ok, I just might have to make some kind of foodie blog eventually!)

My dinner tonight, humble in its simpleness, stressful due to surroundings of non-peace (kids) and mega-mess (moi), brought so many pleasant memories to mind it caught me by surprise. Granted the last several years of my life have brought quite an avalanche of decline from aspiring gourmet to grab-n-go short order cook, but nonetheless, in the words of Jane Austen's Mrs. Elton from Emma, "I do know how to make a sandwich."

 So as I chew, here's what's rolling through my mind:
~Sourdough bread made from my sister-in-law's starter she trucked all the way from Virginia to Tennessee to share and then we brought it back from TN and have been making stuff for two weeks now...And this particular loaf turned out amazing, and thus our BLT's were quite something! Thanks Laura! I feel like I'm eating history when I eat something 'started' a year ago! AND I'm remembering so many good times from reunion it makes me want to cry. (Or Kelly's clawing, grunting, groaning at me for a bite makes me want to cry, not sure which!)

~Tomatoes grown from our garden, which Luke helped me plant.  When we got back from TN Luke, Evan and I picked almost a half bushel, and this latest handful was no less red, ripe, and altogether juicy sweet. I also must admit here that I only recently learned to appreciate tomatoes. And you know what got me to eat them raw? A friend serving me a BLT with a garden RED sweet tomato slice! Thanks Jeane'! ( I wonder how she's doing, and all her kids...another rabbit trail of happy thoughts...)

~ Bacon hearkens me back to visiting with my brother and sister-in-law when they lived in Houston and JD made a whole pound of bacon in the oven...it was the best bacon I had ever had! Their apartment smelled like bacon for hours. Thanks JD for teaching me something new! And I then think of my two dear nieces that I just got to spend a week with and may not see again for a year or two (ahhh!), which really makes me want to cry!

What's with all the crying? What's happening to me!? It's just a sandwich! Golly...

Oh, hubby just got home...time to serve him up this non-gourmet but no less delicious summertime fair!

Enjoy these last few remnants of summer days...and if dinner means JUST corn on the cob, or just a sandwich, so be it!

P.S. And by the way (because I know you're just dying to know this), having JUST corn on the cob was a very common occurrence in my family growing up, and brings to mind many other fond memories of eating outside in nothing but swimsuits and chucking our leftover ears into the woods...I think I might just need some tissues... ; )

Take time for Beauty

 I'm trying to heed this advice. Sometimes it's easy, like when you're at Longwood Gardens enjoying a boy date, or when you're swimming on a warm summer day in a swimsuit you feel confident in, or when you're painting your toenails a happy color in the still of the evening. When the kids are getting along, laughing with each other.

But let's be honest. Most of the time, it's hard. Really hard.

There's always something along the lines of WORK and CHORES and TO-DO LIST and CRYING BABIES and that seems to get in the way of taking time to enjoy the beauty of creation.
The beauty, true beauty, of childhood.
The beauty of friendship.
The beauty of family ties.
The beauty of solace.
The beauty of music.
The beauty of silence.

Tonight as I was picking flowers in the last minutes of light, I was amazed at the precision with which flowers bloom. These particular flowers in this vase always bloom at the end of June. I always know that I'll have lilies and snapdragons and russian sage to gather together to make my eyes and heart happy at this time of year. Timing. Colors. Seeds. Water. Soil. Sunshine. God makes them all work together so that I can have this vase of these flowers at this time every summer. BEAUTY.

Right before this I was reading my boys a story and swiveled around in our rocking chair to look outside at the sunset behind the church up the hill. At first it was barely pink. Then after we read a short book we looked again and the sky was deep rose. Luke's questions are endless. But in that moment I tried to turn his heart toward our Beautiful Creator, who loves to paint pictures every night before he puts his children to bed. He asked if I could leave the curtain open so he could watch the rest of the sunset before he goes to sleep. BEAUTY.

And last night, something inside me needed to have some piano time. So I sat down (it has been months). As tired as I was, I played some piano for a half hour at 10 pm. A Bach Goldberg variation, some Amelie' soundtrack stuff, a Chopin nocturne. A hymn. The house was peaceful, and my heart was being refreshed with melodies. BEAUTY.

Somewhere in between childhood and adulthood we start to change...we start laughing less, smiling less, and reveling in pure beauty less. Of course work and responsibility and opened eyes to the evils in this world may have a little to do with that, but what's the point if we, overcome by adulthood duty, forget to acknowledge the simple beauties surrounding us every day...the beauties that make our duties bearable?

If I may, here's a quote that I wrote down years ago, after reading A Severe Mercy by C.S. Lewis...He perfectly describes how beauty can sneak up on us and take us by surprise. I love this:

"He remembered, as though it were but a few days ago that winter night, himself too young even to know the meaning of beauty, when he had looked up at a delicate tracery of bare black branches against the icy glittering stars: suddenly something that was, all at once, pain and longing and adoring had welled up in him, almost choking him. He had wanted to tell someone, but had no words, inarticulate in the pain and glory. That nameless something that had stopped his heart was Beauty. Even now, for him, 'bare branches against the stars' was a synonym for beauty."

Take time today to stop. Look. Listen. And give thanks for the Beauty you behold.

In this moment...

5:47 pm. At this very moment, there is peace in my home.

Luke is playing happily upstairs,

Kelly is driving a car,

Evan is amusing himself with Kelly driving her car.

Is there mess in my home? Yes.

Did I get to the bathrooms today? You guess.

Is dinner on the table? Or even thought about? Nopey.

But I'm going to revel in this moment. Look at my children in awe.

This peace will not last an hour, or possibly even ten minutes, but it's moments like these that God comforts my heart that sometimes, those blessed sometimes, parenting IS do-able. Parenting IS awesome. And there are disastrously too many people in this world without these moments of peace.

Even though at times the chaos seems Everest-like, the glimpses of the View keep us going.

O God, I thank you for this moment!

Our very own Mini Driver!!

Is it wrong to be this excited over a minivan??!! For goodness sakes, it's the sign of old age to a teenager, and official 'uncoolness' to a typical 20 year old male, but hey, we have 3 kids and were feeling quite cramped in our fabulous Subaru...so now I'm going to go 'whoop-dee-doo' in my new (ok, 2010, but new to me!) Honda!

Luke went with me to buy it- which was a little bit more than he bargained for if you can see his face...haha! Apparently used vans like this come much cheaper outside big cities...found a great deal west of D.C. and spent 10 hours of my life to save a lot of bucks. And my dear father spent 10 hours of HIS life to help us attain such luxury. Thanks Dad!

And thanks to my awesome hubby who, as any other hunk-man in the world, would rather not spend his money on a wine colored minivan, but out of the kindness of his heart gave me permission to get my very own mom-mobile! I really do feel like a queen with my princes and princess in tow!

And my mom just happened to find this quote from somewhere written decades ago as she was going through some old papers and literally gave it to me the day before we found/bought Miss Mini (as Luke has lovingly coined her). I thought it particularly fitting:

Mothers: How to keep them running smoothly:
Perhaps Mothers should come with a maintenance agreement which provides for a complete overhaul every five years, three kids, or 300,000 miles, whichever comes first. Here are several points which ought to be included: 
1. Fuel: While most Mothers will run indefinitely on hot coffee, pizza, and hamburgers, an occasional gourmet meal for two in elegant surroundings will add immeasurably to increased efficiency. 

2. Motor: A Mother's motor is probably the most dependable anywhere. A Mother can start and reach top speed from a prone position at a single cry from a sleeping child. To keep that motor running at peak efficiency, regular breaks are recommended. A leisurely bath and nap every 1,000 miles, a babysitter every 10,000 miles, and a two-week, live-in babysitter every 100,000 miles will do wonders. (Wouldn't that last one be a dandy!?)

3. Battery: Batteries should be recharged regularly. Roses, candy, or other thoughtful and unexpected gifts often do the trick. 

4. Carburetor: When a Mother's carburetor floods, it should be treated immediately with Kleenex and a soft shoulder.

5. Breaks: Use brakes often, and slow to a full stop regularly.

6. Chassis: A Mother operates best when her chassis is properly maintained. Her wardrobe should be changed as needed every fall and spring. Regular exercise should be encouraged and provided for. A complete change of hairdo and makeup should be part of the regular maintenance. When the chassis begins to sag, there are a number of possible remedies, including racquetball and Weight Watchers.

7. Tune-up: Mothers need regular tune-us. Compliments are both the cheapest and most appreciated.

By following these simple instructions, the average Mother should last a lifetime providing love and caring to those who need her most.


Cheers and goodnight!

A day in the life of Kelly...

 " I love singing when I wake up. Although mommy doesn't get the hint sometimes, so I usually end up squawking to make sure she hears me. Boy do I love seeing her face!! She makes me feel all bouncy! Then she changes me and lets me play with that cute little chicken thing.

She always feeds me the nicest breakfast...I just get so excited when I see that Cheerio box for the 20th time and that banana mush she gives me everyday...oh wait, today I had warm oatmeal like the rest of the family! I feel like such a big girl!

Now that I can crawl and pull myself up on the couch or mommy's leg that's all I do. ALL DAY. I don't know why mommy thinks she needs to wash dishes or make food or clean up stuff. I like it best when everything is all over the floor so I can look at stuff and taste it. And what I love most is when mommy holds me and pays attention to me, so at least now I can get to her. She can't hide from me, even in the bathroom. I'm super fast.
I can even climb up all the steps with Evan, although I don't understand why she wasn't all excited when she found me at the near top of the steps...I was soooo proud of myself!

 This dishwasher thingy is super fun. Mommy asked Luke to help her unload it but he was up to his eyeballs in play-dough happiness so I thought I would help her. She didn't seem too happy that I was tossing things onto the floor, but boy mommy that's where it's at!! Luke asked her if I was going to get a treat for helping. What's a treat? I want to know!

Now that I can get into things life is so much more fun. I can play with food in Luke and Evan's kitchen, I can pull out all the cloth napkins from the bottom drawer (one of my favorites). And I don't know when we're going to get a dog, so for now I help out the best I can by picking up all the random little bits of food or whatever off the floor and eating it. I'm so helpful!"

So there's a little taste of my baby in all her 10 month glory!!

My garden of Eden...

...post the painful childbearing part. Haha!

Yeah so last week I did something a little crazy. Well, not too crazy I guess as it turns out. I had to bring my parents to the airport, and Longwood is only a 10 minute detour on the way home. Plus there's a  new Chick-fil-a that we passed to get our 'picnic' a la 'no-fuss'. (My favorite kind!)

~Just so you know, I'm listening to Micheal Buble' right now on Pandora...geez, does he have a sweeeeet voice!!

So anyway, we arrived at one of my most favorite places on earth at 11 am, and ate our decadent nuggets outside the entrance, had my first experience getting them all bathroomed and changed (including the relief for moi) and off we go to get our, scratch that, MY ticket. Fortunately, for women insane enough to take any or all of their children under 4, they don't charge you a penny. They do, however, hand out a lovely ticket that Luke was very excited to have scanned.

So strolling along with a happy 10 month old (mostly due to graham crackers and plenty of people smiling at her), and two boys that apparently LOVE flowers and trees and sun and being outside, fountains, children's gardens, more fountains (I miraculously had another pair of clothes for Evan in the car, due to said fountainage he needed it!), carillon bells ringing and mommy happy, WE HAD A GRAND OLD TIME!

Only sadness that I did not have hubby or a friend to share said experience with. But there WILL be a next time!

~ While waiting for these pictures to upload, I just polished off the last 6 chocolate covered strawberries we made yesterday. Can I say happy mother's day to me??

 All things bright and beautiful

 All creatures great and small

 All things wise and wonderful

 The Lord God made them all!

 For the Beauty of the Earth

 For the Glory of the skies

 For the Love which from our birth

 Over and around us lies:

 Lord of All, to Thee we raise

 This our hymn of grateful praise!

I had one pooped out little girl by the end, but all in all a successful excursion.

Is it any wonder that God placed Man in a garden for his first home? If I won a million dollars, I would most certainly make a backyard Eden of sorts...fountains, a pond with big fat goldfish, herb gardens, the works!

Thanks Mr. Dupont, for the legacy you left all our happy eyes and refreshed spirits~

And thanks to Master Creator, who made all these flowering trees and plants in all their lush array in the first place!